It use to bother me when people would say "your pain is all in your head". I learned to let that statement roll off my shoulders. Today I learned some off my pain is in my heart. Today I learned that most of my grandchildren and their parents think I am a horrible grandmother. As my daughter rattled off:
the things I do wrong,
my rotten attitude,
my unrealistic expectations of others ...
I realized yes I am a horrible grandmother. I realized that I expect too much from others. I realized I don't give enough to others. I realized, because of my pain and disability, I have the nerve to ask too much. Then my pain level shot through the roof. I needed some chores done, they've been sitting undone for weeks. I bit my tongue, put on my big girl pants and did some of those chores and increased my pain 10 fold. I crawled up the stairs like a baby, slinked into bed and cried for the grandmother I had always thought myself to be.
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